Well, I'm back in lovely Dorset for a few days now before my long long flight to Australia. Dorset is not at the moment lovely but is in fact grey, soggy and exactly the same as when I left it two years ago. Dad picked me up and we went to Tesco in town to do some last minute shopping. Dad was chatted up by a woman at the banana section who carried herself like a drunk sack of hammers and lacked front teeth. I managed not to see anyone I knew much to my relief. When I go home I resign myself to the fact that at some point I will have an awkward encounter over a Tesco checkout. Or perhaps in an aisle. Someones mum, someones sister. God I know I'm bitter, but I just cant stand small talk.
I'm so excited about Australia I can't sleep at night. The next few days at home should be nice and relaxed- reading, walking around the Purbecks and cooking a 'non christmas' roast for my parents (and a few stray old ladies). I'm slightly annoyed that the rellies insisted on me returning their massive suitcase that I borrowed last time, especially because I have since discovered that they have no plans to use it any time soon. I lugged it back, empty, on a train so packed that i had to sit two carriages away from it in my reserved seat (thank goodness) which was occupied in and around by a very well mannered london family. I had to kick them out of my seat, like a heartless cow. I wouldn't have, but the only other option was to sit inside the suitcase. A man a few seats away was having a blazing row with another man who refused to move from his reserved seat. He wasn't doing a very good job of it, using phrases like 'duuuuur' and 'god you're such an arsehole! I'm going to sit on your lap!' A polish woman sat opposite me asked the refreshments trolley man if he had a bin for their waste. He was apparently also polish and snapped 'no! I dont have 'rubbish''. The woman foolishly persisted- 'what is that bag on the side of your trolly?'. 'ICE bag. No rubbish! I not dustbin man!' He trundled off without serving her and collided with an unfortunate woman trying to get to the toilet. 'GO OTHER WAY'. The woman reasoned that there wasn't a toilet the other way. He spat 'I AM GOING THIS WAY'... she went the other way. I bought a cup of tea from him, smiled sweetly and was very nice in an attempt to soothe him. He was unresponsive, and as thanks for me giving him exact change, he asked me if I wanted sugar...then didn't give me any.
God, what an arsehole.
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