Ice skating on a saturday twilight

I did it. I went ice skating. And I didn't fall all the way over. Not once. I felt comfortably young doing something a bit 'fun', until I saw the scores of kids half my age skating rings around me. Suddenly I felt like a brittle, knock kneed old batty aunt with dyspraxia and one good eye, bumbling along with arms and legs akimbo going 'wheeeee....?' But I cared not. I had a jolly good spaz. Now my legs are aching and my ankles which felt so supported before are groaning.
That said, ice skating was possibly the best remedy for a day of working in the kind of bar where weird old men stroll in and tell you without any prompting that you would need to lose a bit of weight before they would ever consider you as a serious romantic option. This particular man was in his late forties, looked like a cross between Bono and a tranny/Boy George, and was sporting eyeliner, peircings and Ming The Merciless evil upside-down drawn-on eyebrows. He had a very amusing conversation with another local which went something like this. Names have been changed to protect the ridiculous:
Costco- 'oh yeah, well my girlfriend *name removed* is heading over in a bit.'
Ming- '*name removed*? I know her.
Costco- Yeah?
Ming- Yeah. Uh. I went out with her for a bit.
*awkward silence*
Ming- Hah, it was like 20 years ago...
Costco- Oh aye.
Ming- She was a lovely girl. Very nice. Stunning looking too, dead skinny....
Ming- Great shag. Got her legs up round my neck!
Costco- ........I'm just going to the cashpoint.
Ming (to me)- Well, that was a bit embarrassing.
Me- *squirm*
Ming- You know, you're a really well-built girl. You look dead solid, like an athlete, or a kickboxer.
Me- Uh...thanks.
Ming- Oh no, I don't mean it in a bad way, I think it's dead hot like. Not for me though, I like girls who are skinny. I mean, you're really a beautiful girl but you would have to lose some weight.
Me-.

I wish I did do kickboxing.